An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops