Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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This is not a joke.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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