What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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sky silverstein

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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whats green and lives in the water

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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