I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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rarw

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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