A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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