Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops