What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

I Have a Black Friend

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Wanna hear a joke? no

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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