CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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asdasdasdasd

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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