when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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