Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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France had one revolution

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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roses are red poo is poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops