Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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