Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

Charlie Sheen

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

why does the man appear fat he is

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

tim tebow is a grat quarterback

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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