How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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the NAACP

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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