Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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