What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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Once, I went to Peru.

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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