A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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Justin's life

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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