why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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