Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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SUCK MY NUTS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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