It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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what did the purple horse say to the goat? horses don't talk....

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A man was caught cross dressing by his wife. She divorced him.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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woman's rights

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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