Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Justin Beiber

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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