why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops