Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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