my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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