Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops