I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops