You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

An Irishman walked out of a bar

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...