Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The government

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chlamydia

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops