what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

if got a joke if fogot it

Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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