Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock... Home invasion

thumb_up thumb_down -31

All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops