Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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