I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Ron Paul for President!

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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why did the chicken cross the street dude get your facts right it is the road ok well why did the chicken cross the street LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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LOL

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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