Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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