What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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The New York Giants

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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