if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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