Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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don't just stand there

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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