A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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69

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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Please ignore this statement.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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What would u like to drink?

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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