Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

Asian women drivers...

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

I'm winning at Scrabble.

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

child labor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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