What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down

I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

thumb_up thumb_down

69

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

thumb_up thumb_down

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

thumb_up thumb_down

an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

thumb_up thumb_down

A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

thumb_up thumb_down

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

thumb_up thumb_down

I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

thumb_up thumb_down

what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops