What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

what is orange? an orange

What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...