Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

"Knock knock." "Come in."

what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

tim tebow is a grat quarterback

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...