Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops