What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

You're welcome. On to the next house.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

thumb_up thumb_down -51

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +40

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops