Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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