roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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