Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Women's Rights

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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