don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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Women's rights

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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