what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops