Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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69.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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