"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops