When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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