One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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