so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

want more?

what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...