Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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I saw how annoying the poem in the post below me was, so I decided to create an extreme version of it, to hopefully cause psychological distress to all of you readers. It goes something like this: Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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