Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

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What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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Oh, right

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops