What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

thumb_up thumb_down -3

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops