How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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Women's Rights

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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