If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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THEN WHO WAS FONE?

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops