What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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