How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Albino African Americans

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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pudding

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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It got hit by a rocket.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops