teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -11

can you pass the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops