An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened to the teenager who was raped and murdered? Who knows? They never found the body.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops